On 25.8. I set off for Mönchengladbach for an intensive hypnosis seminar and am excited and sceptical about what awaits me there. Everything I have read and heard about SOL hypnosis up to this point sounds so unlikely that I find it difficult to accept. So I move into my room and walk to Wickrathberg. Arrived there Brigitte welcomes me first and I feel totally comfortable in the beautiful atmosphere of the estate Alt Finkenberg. A first sniff of the other participants takes place and I am amazed from which different areas the participants come. Again and again in the seminar I experience myself as an exotic from orthodox medicine. Ralf and Brigitte, however, take up my topic completely and I notice that they feel the need to help me and my patients. Together we will develop a concept on the 4th day in order to facilitate radiation therapy and its side effects for our patients by means of effective suggestion.
Again and again my thoughts revolve around the energies that are in and around us. Apparently other participants can see or feel these energies. There is also talk of foreign energies. Everything sounds rather frightening to me. In the evening in my room the thought comes again and again that I don’t belong here. Why is it so clear to other participants that our soul is immortal?
Why does everything sound so simple? What does all-encompassing unconditional love have to do with my problems or with the cause of illness? Somehow my body doesn’t seem to feel too comfortable either, my stomach feels like a balloon. Running is good for me. Now we walk the footpath together with another course participant. One gets into conversation and somehow notices that there are similarities. On Wednesday we have to hand in our questionnaires. What do I write? If it really helps, I don’t want to forget anything. Yes, and my body reacts as if it wants to tell me what I may not have mentioned.
On Wednesday morning I get the message that a participant is leaving the seminar. I think he is doing it right. It is too close for him! Then again and again the question, which positive resource is the right one for me! I look for a feeling that unites me with my mother and find none. Also the desire to use hypnosis to see it again, to finally believe that it will go on after our death. All this keeps me from going.
Then on Thursday the first experience with the light or the energy. I am allowed to do the hypnosis with G. and she gets to her energetic place. For the first time I feel a real connection between us and an aura or energy that unites us. Then when I am hypnotized myself, a completely different experience. I see only fragments of a staircase. Looking up, am I color-blind? There is a light, but yellow and warm I would not call it. There is nothing below. It totally takes me with it and even at night in the hotel I can’t rest.
Friday then we experience the first two SOL hypnoses. Both completely different and both very impressive. What happens there on the couch cannot be put into words. And again external energy. Do I have perhaps also foreign energy? No, I would have to notice that! But Ralf says yes that you can get rid of it without hypnosis. In the evening in the hotel I try it. Something is in my stomach, but maybe I just sat too much. 1-2-3- all energy that does not belong to my body’s own system should be transformed. I’m not really convinced that something like this exists and I’m not that convincing when I speak.
Saturday then, I am the first on this day. I wanted to be hypnotized by Gabriele. There I felt a connection.
I am very excited, a little anxious! There is pressure on my chest! What’s next? Do I really see anything from my previous life? Do I see the light of the all-embracing divine love?
The introduction without problems, the house, yes somehow there is something, the stairs somehow different! Ralf takes over! Am I under hypnosis at all? I don’t think I can do that! Then Ralf’s voice and I can let myself fall further.
The step to the situation that burdens your life the most today!
But there is nothing, I feel nothing, I see nothing. Disappointment with me, no light, no stressful situation. Maybe I am a child of happiness and nothing burdens me!
Then Ralf! Are you a lovable loving person? Yes, yes, yes!
Then let the all-embracing love flow into your body and feel this love. Feet, legs, stomach, then a stop, there is also pressure on the head and a weight on the shoulders.
Then my voice, there is something else! I think Ralf was just waiting for that. I now count from 1-3 and then everything is transformed that does not belong to your body’s own system of body, mind and soul. 1-2-3
We ask together the divine love to help us or me. 1-2-3,- 1,2,3- 1,2, 3 sometime after countless times 1, 2, 3, the feeling is away from the shoulders and the head.
But at the fingers and fingertips it is there, and when I yell “out” and it becomes somewhere less, it strengthens the feet or hands. Go away, finally go away. I don’t want you anymore. Is that me? Suddenly everything becomes clear to me and I don’t care whether I’m in deep dance or not. I know why I can’t feel or, in other words, why I can’t accept love, why I don’t like my body as it is. I only know that I want to get rid of what does not belong to me. GET OOOOOOUUUTTT!
Go away, go away, finally go away!
Panic rises in me! What if it doesn’t work, what if I can’t get rid of this energy? Ralf is there and I ask him for help. They hold me tight. Ralf asks where they are and before I can answer him, Brigitte is also on my feet. How does she know that? Ralf is calm and trusts me! I understand why the connection is important! He knows that I can do it. Now with the purple flame of ( Saint Germain) ?????? I’ve never heard of it, but it’s a good idea! A flame has more power and I send it into my hands and feet. It is still not done, but now I realize that it can be done. You will not get me, I say. I am stronger, I am stronger, I have my own will. I play and start to laugh. I don’t care where you go, but you don’t stay with me The others in the room also help me, I am not alone! They have not yet been defeated, but I know that I can do it. Get OOOUUUT! .
Never could I roar so! I have always wished to go into the forest and just roar out all the worries. I never succeeded! When I tried it, it was always half-hearted. I always thought about what other people might think about it, even if nobody was there. Now I roar like never before in my life. It is about me and I want to live my life. They have no more power but for safety, a few more times 1-2-3 and out. Now I can relax. I notice that Ralf is seized! Is he crying? I feel like after a marathon. My voice is rough, my mouth and neck completely dry. Now only the protection that they won’t come back. Ralf feels it and I don’t need to say it.
It is done! I know that the other things we discussed before are no longer relevant. Allowing yourself to make mistakes, to feel and accept love, to be able to let yourself fall. All unimportant because the reason for it is gone! I feel free and completely unburdened. I laugh! Ralf asks and anchors. Everything is clear!
Then the questions of guilt and forgiveness. Is there anything else in your life where you feel guilty or would you like to ask someone for forgiveness? I scan my life. Even if I don’t see any pictures, I see a black stripe in front of my eyes, which gets smaller and smaller and is replaced by a warm light. Maybe this is the beginning not only to feel the light, but also to be able to see it.
I get up and feel like after a fight! Everyone looks at me affected and I say I am back!
I still don’t really know what external energy is or where it comes from, but I now know that it has burdened my life. I am sad that I could not make the experience to see the divine light and to have a look at my former life so that I have the certainty that this really exists.
In my childhood days I dealt very intensively with death and dying. In the evenings, when I was very happy, I usually became afraid of dying. The certainty about the immortality of the soul would have helped me even more.
I think that the foreign energy wanted exactly that and blocked my view into my former life. Too bad, but I am sure that it will be possible to do it again!